“It was a normal Monday. I had an interview for a new pack carrier position to support an intrepid guild that fought around the land called Kingdom. I woke up, had my weekly bath and put on my finest tunic before going to the keep. I met with a Lord Stabtastic who was interviewing me for the position and walking me through everything that the Kingdom stood for. I must have said something right because I’d barely gotten through being equipped from the armory with Lady Larceni before I heard a terrifying voice from above saying that a server reset was imminent. What in the name of Bristlebane is server reset? Next thing you know I had a bag thrown over my head and everything was dark with the occasional screeching and clinking in my ears.
I came to and found myself first in the middle of several knights of the realm fighting a named…TURTLE? They made short work of it before whisking us off to the Temple of Veeshan and just started running like madmen towards Dozekar; ready to serve him another does of the punishment of endless death. He’d barely uttered his last curse before again I was teleported; this time to Kael and as the guards were shouting about the intruders and next thing you know not only has King Tormax stormed out; he’s fallen to the blade. Some cleric passes me a vial and tells me to sniff…I was in shock and just did it and BOOM I was in Thurgadin? Wait…are we here for a celebration…we just killed their enemy’s leader…NOPE apparently, they just like killing because next thing you know Dain is dead; his head ripped from his body and held in the air like some kind of trophy.
A druid grabs my hand and we’re in Cobalt Scar then Sirens Grotto then the Western Wastes and back at the Temple of Veeshan. Really? We haven’t killed enough? I guess not because I look up and, I’m halfling enough to say I’m thankful I brought a second pair of britches because, there was Ikatiar the Venom trying to bite me. I ran around the corner and hid with the clerics…at least they can rez me if I die. Ikitiar fell quickly and I felt myself being pulled around the waste and POP I was in the bosom of the temple. Where are we going now? It didn’t take long to figure out that we were after the inner circle of the Claws of Veeshan; Bristlebane protect me they wanted everyone on this continent to hate them; First Dagarn then Lord Kreizenn, then Lord Feshlak; one by one they fell. I guess after 3 literal assassination of the inner circle and their guards the fighters needed a break but I swear….they went mad, MAD I tell you. The Lord Cothatannii grabbed my hand and thrust me into the most freakish conga line between cheering monks and a cliff face of certain doom; right into the slaughter of Lord Koi’Doken; I guess fish is on the menu? Then what do we do? Conga right back to Lord Vyemm; of course that would be natural? Well the Kingdom met their match in Lord Vyemm; it was a brutal and brilliant fight which looked to be going in the Kingdom’s favour until a lucky (and quite dirty if you ask me) shot by the dragon took down the gnomish warrior, so coated in blood I don’t even know who it was. Knight Jumo tried to protect us but alas, if it weren’t for the quick hiding of the force, and some lucky hiding in some pocket dimension of a recovery team; the entire force would have been lost.
As Lord Vyemm’s reinforcements started to reappear and the Kingdom depleted the stash of potions and items I carried to resupply them they decided not to go home but to go to ANOTHER dungeon. We ran to Veeshan’s peak to slay Silverwing but alas Hoshkar and Phara Dar’s intricate dance of befuddlement proved too much for the already tired and resource deprived hero’s and their competitors. Wisely deciding to quiet the call to arms a cry for help was heard in the distance. The knights being bloody, bludgeoned and in need of a rest called for their squires. Lady Vox needed to be taken care of to protect the Northern City of Halas and several of those squires answered the call, and who am I to turn down overtime AND danger pay. The squires assembled from their various locations; dodging dangers and getting to Lady Vox’s lair and cautiously killing her Ice Giant guards before killing her soundly and ripping her coveted white scales from her cooling body. I’m sure bards will sing of this day for the victory was that epic.
A kind druid then took me home to Rivervale; my contract fulfilled and I washed and slept the sleep of a thousand days; and awoke to the spoils from an amazing adventure.”
An excerpt from the Memoires of Marjorar Underfoot; Professional Guide, Supplier and Pack Carrier.